Enjoy this special blog post by guest Author, Ramona Trevino also known as IM Dauntless...
A Story of Restoration
As I write this, I pray and think about what has brought me to this place, how long it took, how long the road was and how I did not ever think I would live to see the peace I now carry.
It was 1993 I was tired of working two jobs to care for my two daughters, barely surviving, still not knowing a peace of walking with our Lord.
I decided I would go back to school and try to find my purpose. My girls were small, 5 and 8 years old.
My first college class was at Hartnell College. A women’s writing class. I had always had a difficult time in school, but I was excited to start this new path. Our first assignment was to write about something that impacted our lives. I still had hurt and anger towards my first husband, so I knew I could write about that. Free at last was the title. I held on to this paper because it was a reminder of what I came out of. I did not have any idea that it was Christ who truly pulled me out.
Life went on, I kept going to school. There were other bad relationships and I just kept thinking I needed to finish school. Praise God I completed my teaching credential and my Masters 14 years later.
All I knew was I wanted to keep my new positon as a Moderate to Severe High school teacher and if I completed my education I would have a good career path.
Little did I know that I was still in need for my Savior. I kept hiding the fact that I was hurting, I was hurt from my past abortions, hurt from men, and I felt very alone.
One day after police removed me from a very scary situation I realized I could not live this way any longer. I needed Jesus. I cried out to him.
This was the start to my healing. I went through a lot of counseling. I needed to know that I was forgiven for abortion. That I would meet my children and that they were taken care of. This was a ball and chain I carried for years.
Through each of my heart-aches, my friends would tell me look how you have come out of this one! You need to write a book. I would laugh it off, like that could never happen.
One day, two years ago, God pulled on my heart and said it was time. I sat there and prayed as I wondered where would I even start. I put my fingers on the computer and they started writing. I started as a young girl and recalled being touched by my grandfather. I cried and prayed and it was revealed to me that this was the start of my young age depression, this was the reason that I felt so alone and unprotected. This was the reason I began to find other ways to be loved and carelessly used my body thinking that was the only way people loved.
I cried and continued to write, each time something came up I wondered Lord why am I recalling this horrific experience. Then He would reveal the reason.
Slowly as I continued to write out these experiences, I could see how God saved me though each of them. God alone had always been trying to call on me. I kept getting side tracked.
Finally, as I completed my book, Free at Last the Struggle to Be Good Enough, I knew what God intended with me writing. He was teaching me how He was going to keep His promises. He was going to show me how He had carried my tears to the cross many times.
How He was going to use each of those unspeakable crimes and behaviors as part of my testimony.
Now I know I need to share with others how healing is possible, how the most difficult person to forgive is ourselves, and most of all how we are good enough to come to Jesus anytime during our journey towards healing.
Try not to be ashamed of your story, He will bring you to a place of restoration and others will see His glorious work.
Love, I.M. Dauntless
When Thanksgiving was approaching my Aunt bravely asked our family, via a text message, if we had any particular requests we’d like her to make for dessert. Homemade desserts are one of my favorite treats! She is an excellent cook, so to be asked “what would you like?” is almost a dream come true. Since there are five of us in my family, by the time I noticed the text there were already 26 responses! It’s funny, though, as soon as I read the question my imagination went tilt from the overloaded of possibilities. I couldn’t come up with anything specific for fear I might miss out on something better. In the end, I just decided everything she makes is delicious, so it was best to be surprised.
When I read promises in the Bible like, “You will ask what you desire and it will be done for you” and “To Him who is able to do abundantly more than we could ask or think,” I tend to do the same thing. At first, I am filled with a full-fledged excitement from the sheer consideration of mind-boggling possibilities. The magnitude of these promises is enough to cause my heart and mind to tilt with an overload of anticipation. But when my feet finally hit the ground, and I have a chance to sober up, I pretty much decide to defer to His judgment. After all, you can’t really beat “every good and perfect gift.” I had this same challenge as a child. Every time my parents would take me to a restaurant and say “go ahead and order whatever you want from the menu,” after careful consideration, mixed with a lot of imagination, I would end up deferring to their choice. Why? Because I feared settling for “good” when I could have had the “best!”
I firmly believe God means what He says! I also believe He is thrilled over our imaginative exhilaration when the truth of His promises, made to us in Christ, take hold of our hearts with child-like faith and wonder. Yet, when we realize the limitations of our incarcerated flesh, our inability to imagine the very best, then choose instead to ask our Abba Father for His best--This is His greatest delight of all! He loves to share His best plans with hearts that sincerely trust in His goodness.
Let the magnitude of His promises overwhelm you with His goodness! Then I pray it will lead you to greater dimensions of trust, so your journey is full of joyful anticipation.
Do not fear, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Luke 12:32